Here’s the deal. If a man fathers 20 children or more, his body will look absolutely no different after than it did before children, except for normal aging (str8 h8). Women, on the other hand, see their bodies undergo permanent changes during maternity that can affect their self-confidence, self-esteem, and sex drive, which is why they may decide to undergo a procedure like a mommy makeover. So, even if you think she looks beautiful, and you’re happy with her just the way she is, the important thing to remember is that she might not be satisfied with the way she is. And, most smart men want their wives to be happy.
In my years of practice, I have seen so many cringe-worthy moments as husbands sit through their spouses’ consultations for everything from breast augmentations to eyebrow lifts to mommy makeovers. Some do better than others to be perfectly honest, so I decided to give the guys a little help. Here are seven tips on how to survive your wife’s plastic surgery journey.
This is in no way about you. Not on any level. Not even a little bit. Your wife wants to look better in her clothes, feel better about her body, feel better about how she looks in a bathing suit, or any number of other personal goals. At some point, you will be able to enjoy your wife’s new self-confidence and self-esteem, but you are not the reason she is having a mommy makeover or any other procedure.
Be supportive. If you’re too enthusiastic about your wife altering her appearance, you will look like a jerk. If you aren’t excited at all, you will look like a jerk. The best bet is just to be supportive of her decisions. If she looks at you and asks what you think, say “whatever you think, honey,” or something to that effect.
At the consultation for a mommy makeover or other procedure, speak only when spoken to. I have had husbands actually pipe in and tell me, “Doctor, I don’t know if this is important, but I’ve known her since college, and she’s never been petite.” Yikes! It’s best to remember that you don’t really factor into this, and you’re only there for moral support.
Do not feel like it’s necessary to tell the doctor that you think your wife looks great just as she is (see lesson 1). So many husbands feel like they have to get this in, and they blurt it out at the start of the consultation as if they need to get it off their chests. The doctor knows this. She has heard it a million times.
Your wife will not die, widow you, or orphan her children in her attempt to improve her appearance. Secretly, women have this fear, too, and I often bring it up in the consultation. Most women seeking mommy makeovers, tummy tucks, or breast augmentations are relatively young and at a very low risk for complications from surgery or anesthesia. The important things to do are make sure you are seeing a board-certified plastic surgeon, and make sure the surgery is done at an accredited surgical facility. This will optimize the chances of a good outcome, minimize complications, and make you both feel less anxious about having elective surgery.
Lesson 6 (Optional)
Take her on a shopping spree, give her a spa day, or do something extra special when she is recuperating. Cosmetic surgery can make a person feel vain, petty, or selfish, and a lot of moms feel super guilty about spending money on themselves, whether for a full mommy makeover or less invasive cellulite treatment. Most cosmetic patients go through a period after surgery where they question why they did it and whether it was the right thing to do. This is usually when they are hurting, bruised, and swollen. This is the time to step in, be supportive, and reaffirm her decisions.
When all else fails, refer back to lesson 1. Good Luck!